The teacher had us write whatever came to mind while she played two piano pieces on her little boom box. Moonlight Sonata and something else, I think. Anyway, here's what I came up with.
I do not regret leaving, but I can't say that I never looked back. The soft air, the faint flowery smell that caressed the stone always hung motionless in the willow branches. And the colors. The green- the bright emerald green that pushes itself frm the landscape, rejecting it. Only in such an ancient place does the green begin to long for the nature it came from. Everywhere else, man has managed to subdue it. But not there. Not where they burried you. Not where man returns to green and flowers and becomes beautiful again.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
KAZU COME HOME
Everyone has stories of the room mate from hell. right? please tell me I'm not the only one...
Aaron is my room mate from hell right now. hes gross. hes a perv. (and not in the good way.) I woke up this morning to take a shower, and what do I see? A half-full tub of soapy water, compete with floating hair clumps, that refuses to drain. After brief conference with my other room mate Richard (the good one), we have confirmed that it is indeed Aaron who insists on taking the bar of soap he uses and after its so thin that it breaks in two, he crams the halves down the drain. I don't feel that I need to tell you the implications of this to us, the poor room mates, who feel the need to take a shower anytime within the next week. This has happened multiple times, but that was just the straw that broke the camels back.
On Saturday I think, Saturday morning, Richards girlfriend slept over, and that morning the two of them were out in the TV room watching TV just hanging out while I was still asleep. Aaron walks in, in his underwear, to "throw something away" in the living room trash cans. Never mind the fact that they're overflowing already and he has some trash cans in his room. Then Richards girlfriend tells Aaron that she has to go to the bathroom, goes into the bathroom, and ten seconds later Aaron opens the bathroom door and goes "whoops". THEN, when shes washing her hands at the vanity sink, he stands right behind her, all stalker like, still in his boxers, and stands in such a way that she cant move without bumping into him.
I'm still surprised Richard didn't just punch him in the face, because that's what I would have done. I mean seriously, what the hell is wrong with this guy? he has some sort of physical handicap, he has one malformed hand. I don't know what its called, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't translate into mental retardation. the guy is 25 and hanging out in a college dorm being all creepy to any girl that enters the room. Do you know how many conversations Ive had with him? 1. at the beginning of the semester. all other times he avoids talking to me or my friends. unless its one of my female friends. then he suddenly gets all chummy. but not with me, with the female friend. and now I don't even feel comfortable letting my female friends into my room, for fear of them being sexually harassed by my creepy-ass room mate.
last year me and Richard were in this same room, but with different room mates. one was mysteriously absent from the room the entire year (yay!), and the other was Kazu, the coolest kid you will ever meet. he was studying abroad from Osaka, Japan. when he first showed up he was the shyest kid. like he was shy to begin with, but then you stick him in a place where he has to speak a second language, and he clams up like no other. yet we persisted, we knew he was cool, so me and my friends engaged him and actually got him to open up. we took him to all the cool places in Greeley and showed him American culture. we took him to the porn shop in Greeley. we took him to the Cajun restaurant in Greeley. and for his birthday we took him to the batting cages in Greeley. He was a really reserved guy, but we could get him to laugh so hard that he doubles over and it made me smile.
Dammit. I miss Kazu.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Conformity
And so, I have been made aware of something on the other side of the same coin as my previous post. Not only would I have tolerated being a slave, I would have also been a slave owner. And chances are you would have been too.
It goes back to the Stanford Prison Experiment. This is one of my all-time favorite experiments, and it goes a long way to show how humans behave when they are arbitrarily put in a position of power. For those of you who are not reading this and are not familiar with the experiment, you should check out the link and read up on it. Basically, a mock prison was set up in the basement of the Stanford psychology department, and students were assigned to role play the positions of both prisoners and guards. The experiment had to be cut short because the "guards" were treating the "prisoners" too cruelly.
The implications of this are really quite opposite to the opinion that all people are inherently good. I never thought that people were naturally good, and that we all have our inner evil, but I guess its still shocking to see it all in action. And I think it would be reasonable to draw a connection between this experiment and the treatment of slaves in the early United States.
Slave holders were put in positions of power over their slaves, and were treated a lot worse than the prisoners in the Stanford basement. Were they treated this way because all slave holders were evil? Did Stanford manage to accidentally pick a group of particularly evil people and put them in power over "normal" people? No. Everyone would have done the same if they were in their position.
Now this may come off as downright insulting. "You mean to say that I’m evil?" Well, yea. But don’t worry, I am too. Actually that really isn’t a good reason to not worry. Maybe you should worry. And be glad you can’t really own slaves in this era. But you still might kidnap someone eventually, and treat them like scum for no particular reason.
Also, not EVERYONE in the early United States owned slaves, and even then not all slave owners treated their slaves badly. The general consensus is that these people were the minority. However it does leave a glimmer of light for the rest of us. If it is everyone’s nature to act harshly when in a position of power, and not everyone DOES, it IS possible to act contrary to your nature. Therefore I cannot excuse the horrible treatment of slaves as just some evil people doing what they were hard wired to do. If you can act contrary to your nature then you are still responsible for your actions when you act in accordance to your evil nature.
It all comes down to integrity, unfortunately. Something that, evidently, a lot of people don’t have. There aren’t many people around today that would say that it was perfectly fine that slaves were treated the way they were (though they are out there). However most of the people who claim that slavery was an evil institution would in turn act in accordance with the social norms of beating slaves until there was a pool of blood at their feet if given the chance. If no one is going to reprimand or even look down on you when you do something that goes with your nature and your desire, then why act contrary? If you had integrity you would realize that it is evil and not do it, no matter what other people say, as some people did back in the day.
Keep an eye out for your own actions. We as individuals, and we as a society, can never be more than two steps away from institutions like slavery.
It goes back to the Stanford Prison Experiment. This is one of my all-time favorite experiments, and it goes a long way to show how humans behave when they are arbitrarily put in a position of power. For those of you who are not reading this and are not familiar with the experiment, you should check out the link and read up on it. Basically, a mock prison was set up in the basement of the Stanford psychology department, and students were assigned to role play the positions of both prisoners and guards. The experiment had to be cut short because the "guards" were treating the "prisoners" too cruelly.
The implications of this are really quite opposite to the opinion that all people are inherently good. I never thought that people were naturally good, and that we all have our inner evil, but I guess its still shocking to see it all in action. And I think it would be reasonable to draw a connection between this experiment and the treatment of slaves in the early United States.
Slave holders were put in positions of power over their slaves, and were treated a lot worse than the prisoners in the Stanford basement. Were they treated this way because all slave holders were evil? Did Stanford manage to accidentally pick a group of particularly evil people and put them in power over "normal" people? No. Everyone would have done the same if they were in their position.
Now this may come off as downright insulting. "You mean to say that I’m evil?" Well, yea. But don’t worry, I am too. Actually that really isn’t a good reason to not worry. Maybe you should worry. And be glad you can’t really own slaves in this era. But you still might kidnap someone eventually, and treat them like scum for no particular reason.
Also, not EVERYONE in the early United States owned slaves, and even then not all slave owners treated their slaves badly. The general consensus is that these people were the minority. However it does leave a glimmer of light for the rest of us. If it is everyone’s nature to act harshly when in a position of power, and not everyone DOES, it IS possible to act contrary to your nature. Therefore I cannot excuse the horrible treatment of slaves as just some evil people doing what they were hard wired to do. If you can act contrary to your nature then you are still responsible for your actions when you act in accordance to your evil nature.
It all comes down to integrity, unfortunately. Something that, evidently, a lot of people don’t have. There aren’t many people around today that would say that it was perfectly fine that slaves were treated the way they were (though they are out there). However most of the people who claim that slavery was an evil institution would in turn act in accordance with the social norms of beating slaves until there was a pool of blood at their feet if given the chance. If no one is going to reprimand or even look down on you when you do something that goes with your nature and your desire, then why act contrary? If you had integrity you would realize that it is evil and not do it, no matter what other people say, as some people did back in the day.
Keep an eye out for your own actions. We as individuals, and we as a society, can never be more than two steps away from institutions like slavery.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Tolerance
So I'm reading "Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl" by Harriet Jacobs. And reflecting upon my own nature.
In the book, as in other slave narratives, slaves are treated like shit. I'm going to assume at this point that whoever is reading this understands how utterly sickening slavery was, because that's not what I'm writing about. What has caught my mind is how the slaves react to their treatment. Or rather the range of reactions. Some resist to the death, and some endure it. And I cant help but put myself into these positions, and what scares me is how I know how I would react to it.
Id put up with it, until it killed me.
That's how I deal with a lot of things. I'm a very tolerant person. But I have always regarded this as a beneficial trait. I'm not hot headed, I'm rational, etc. But then I realised just what the implications of this would be. I could see myself submitting in a position of slavery. and not because I fear punishment, or because I would think that I belong there. Its almost like I would be too nice to want to go against the grain. I can endure things, sure, why not? Its not that bad.
If I'm ever in a situation that sucks Ill just remove myself from it. mentally. Ill get lost in my own little wonderland and suddenly be able to put up with anything that is thrown at me. And I'm starting to think that that's a very dangerous thing to do.
There's tolerance, as in tolerating diversity or tolerating other people using their freedoms in ways you find annoying. but then there is tolerance, as in just letting every atrocity in the world float by without a glance. And we have to find the line between the two, because the latter leads down a harmful self-destructive road.
There's something to be said about getting fired up. If you see something happen right in front of you and you KNOW it is wrong, speak up. do more than speak up. And I'm not talking about cussing up a storm and deliberately pissing people off, I mean look everyone else in the eye and tell them, "you know this is wrong. You know this shouldn't be happening, but you are just standing there letting it happen."
So quickly can we be conditioned into thinking everything is OK. after all, there is always someone out there ready to fix things for us. we don't have to worry about jack squat because we have ourselves to look after, common good be damned. But we all know that this world isn't perfect. Hell, we live in the "greatest nation on earth" and we can see that we are no where near perfect.
Do not excuse imperfections. Do not let yourself rationalize that things will get better on their own. Do not let someone else take the first stand.
In the book, as in other slave narratives, slaves are treated like shit. I'm going to assume at this point that whoever is reading this understands how utterly sickening slavery was, because that's not what I'm writing about. What has caught my mind is how the slaves react to their treatment. Or rather the range of reactions. Some resist to the death, and some endure it. And I cant help but put myself into these positions, and what scares me is how I know how I would react to it.
Id put up with it, until it killed me.
That's how I deal with a lot of things. I'm a very tolerant person. But I have always regarded this as a beneficial trait. I'm not hot headed, I'm rational, etc. But then I realised just what the implications of this would be. I could see myself submitting in a position of slavery. and not because I fear punishment, or because I would think that I belong there. Its almost like I would be too nice to want to go against the grain. I can endure things, sure, why not? Its not that bad.
If I'm ever in a situation that sucks Ill just remove myself from it. mentally. Ill get lost in my own little wonderland and suddenly be able to put up with anything that is thrown at me. And I'm starting to think that that's a very dangerous thing to do.
There's tolerance, as in tolerating diversity or tolerating other people using their freedoms in ways you find annoying. but then there is tolerance, as in just letting every atrocity in the world float by without a glance. And we have to find the line between the two, because the latter leads down a harmful self-destructive road.
There's something to be said about getting fired up. If you see something happen right in front of you and you KNOW it is wrong, speak up. do more than speak up. And I'm not talking about cussing up a storm and deliberately pissing people off, I mean look everyone else in the eye and tell them, "you know this is wrong. You know this shouldn't be happening, but you are just standing there letting it happen."
So quickly can we be conditioned into thinking everything is OK. after all, there is always someone out there ready to fix things for us. we don't have to worry about jack squat because we have ourselves to look after, common good be damned. But we all know that this world isn't perfect. Hell, we live in the "greatest nation on earth" and we can see that we are no where near perfect.
Do not excuse imperfections. Do not let yourself rationalize that things will get better on their own. Do not let someone else take the first stand.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Nobody Reads Your Blog
Nobody is going to read this one either. It's a fact of life. So why do I want a blog? Because I like having thoughts, and I like being able to put them down somewhere. Maybe someday, hundreds of years down the road Ill look back on this and reflect upon myself. Or maybe when I finally become a big time famous person people will find this and go, "oh wow, so that's what he's really like. that explains a lot."
Of course, I like to think that people would actually care about what little I have to say. That I somehow start a popular blog just by tossing my thoughts onto a website. I'm not holding my breath though.
Of course, I like to think that people would actually care about what little I have to say. That I somehow start a popular blog just by tossing my thoughts onto a website. I'm not holding my breath though.
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